Anyone still here?

Five years ago, I left this blog in the lurch. It was still in it's infancy but real-life needed me more. As I read back the few entries that made the cut (and the endless others that remain in editing stage), I am remiss that I ever stopped. That girl was spunky. That girl was funny. That girl was ME!?! The use of the word girl is intended to be taken lightly, although it is important to note that I was still in my twenties. I'm not going to go on a long-winded spiel about how "I lost myself" to marriage and mommyhood or the trauma of real life. I won't ask you to hang on my every word while I reminisce on who I was such a short (but long) time ago. It goes without saying, right? So, in lieu of my "going there" I ask for a moment of respect. Let us all put our heads down for while I queue violin music. Ok, I feel better now, how 'bout you? Moving on.

Five years ago, Kash and I were chasing our dreams. We moved to the ATL to propel his career.  A couple years later he had the opportunity to live his dreams as he immersed himself in the world of fantasy and comic books. I was the dependable girlfriend standing by my man and supporting him blindly. If you know me, you may quietly chuckle at that last sentence. In an unknown to me way, I was a quiet bystander as I watched the *perfect* opportunity shake up our lives completely.  We have since learned that some dreams end better than others and I will leave it at that. 

Five years ago, I was not sure I believed in marriage. I was oh-so Brangelina in my views of partnership. We had been shacking up in sin quite happily and I didn't feel the need to change a thing. Then my 30th birthday loomed and my views of what I needed to accomplish changed. I was unmarried, no kids and I was working a job that literally sucked the good out of my soul. In the most uninspiring way, Kash and I decided to get married while I chatted on the phone with my sister on a Sunday afternoon. Looking back, my sis might have been the one to decide that for us and i'm so glad she did.  Being married to the most un-perfect man has been a dream, the kind you don't want to wake up from. 

Five years ago, I was sitting on top of the world. The real estate market was booming and we had just bought low and sold high. Our dreams were big and for the first time so was our budget. Things were coming together. There's something to be said about buying your home from a dude who had just been appointed salesman of the year out of a pool of thousands of employees nationwide. A snake oil salesperson for the modern times. If you've ever seen the movie the "Money Pit" you might have an idea of what we went through. Maybe our stairs didn't collapse but our roof did on more than one occasion. In a series of events that have yet to be determined good or bad we walked away from that money pit and are currently in the process of defining what 'dream home' means to us. Stay tuned.

Five years ago, I had not yet met the man of my dreams. On November 2, 2010 Micah Lee Cooper was placed in my arms. If you're a parent you already know everything I'm about to say so I'll omit the cliched statements. I will however throw some random words out there to describe the experience: humbling, heartbreaking, awe inspiring and messy. If you are not yet a parent, I promise you have no idea how good it can be. The shape of your heart changes and so does it's capacity to hurt and to love. More on that here.

Five years ago, I was just a girl following her boyfriend as he traveled on his journey. Today, I am a wife and a mother. Today, I realize that you can not chase your dreams, you create them. Today, I have picked up my virtual writers pen and begun my own journey. Today, I am complete.

That's what I've been up to. What's new with you?

PS: Though not a mathematician, I can correctly calculate the years between 2007 & 2013. This was originally written in 2012. It has taken one year to muster the courage of posting it. I hope it's worth it!